In The End

So it is finally over. I mean school. I have been out for three days and I'm already officially bored out of my mind. So in the past week leading up to the end of school. I have accomplished two things. Surviving school and killing my phone. I swear I'm prone to machine failure. I totally killed my cell phone. It wouldn;t even come on when it was plugged into the charger. So i had to get a new one luckily my warranty wasn;t up for like a week and a half so i didn;t have to pay for it. I got a phone exactly like my old one except this one had a mp3 player.

So yesterday I spent like half the day trying to download this program that lets me put music and pictures onto my phone from my computer and it actually worked. So I was really happy. I have also found out that my phone can have a memeory card, but I haven't found out where to get one yet. And if you didn't know I'm obsessed with ringtones.

The awards ceremony went well at my school last week. I ended up getting most of the awards from the classes I took (I'm not trying to brag). TAD says I continually flaunt my smartness and make her feel dumb ,so sorry TAD. I really thought I wasn't going to get very many this year. There is like a competition between me and this other girl named Jodi. but it's kind of an unspoken competetion. Or atleast it is to me , I don't know about her.

Tomorrow is going to be awesome. TAD is having a birthday party and it is going to be fun. Probably the highlight of my summer. Which I know is really going to be pitiful. This morning TAD and I were talking about what would happen if me, my mom, jeff, john, justin, and jess were all on a survivor show together. We both figured Jeff would probably win. Then I thought "HEY" we should make a comic about it so we are going to. I would probably end up on a team with John and Justin and they would try to sacrifice me or something.

You know I never did post what happened between me and John, but maybe it's better that way. I try not to think about it anymore. When I really do think about it I find I can't really decied if it was my fault or not so I just don't like to think about it. Besides it was three months ago. WOW. It seems like longer than that. Things are going pretty normal between us now though so it's alright.

I constantly wonder what happens after we die, but doesn't everyone. I'm reading this book and they mention that people come up with the theory of the afterlife so they won't be afraid of not knowing. Which is true. If people think they know what's to come they aren't as scared. I do that alot with stuff. I think about what is probably going to happen so I won't worry about it so much. Believe me I worry about everything. And I don't really mean too. I can think about showing pigs next year and worrying about it and it's almost a whole year away. Or thinking about my senior year and wondering about whether or not I'm going to be Valedictorian. I really worry about that stuff even when I know I shouldn't. I just can't help it. But when you think about the bigger picture none of that stuff matters in the end.

You know alot of the time I think about the world. Like sometwhere in the world there is someone somehwhere thinking just like me. But we never know that because people live in there own little place. We never think about things going on with people in other towns, in other schools, when they could be doing the exact thing we were doing and we think we are the only ones going through that stuff. Which is really kind of freaky when you think about it like that. That you are just a part of a huge process and everything and everyone is connected in some way. That reminds me of a book I read once. Oh well that's all my pscho babbling for now.

“Not every end is the goal. The end of a melody is not its goal, and yet if a melody has not reached its end, it has not reached its goal. A parable.”

“This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

“In the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught.”

Ok this quote has no real point I just thought it was funny-
"Procrastination is like Masturbation; In the end you're just screwing yourself.”

Quote Project

During one of her letters to Mrs. Joseph A. Sweetser in late January 1874, Emily Dickinson said, “Saying nothing, sometimes says the most.” She was talking about how death comes in silence and is not assaulting in its’ presence, but still takes away life. That is the reason I chose this quote. It says it is still possible to say something without speaking, but still get the point across.

Emily Dickinson was an American poet. In my opinion she wrote some of the most moving poetry of all time. She was born in Amherst, Massachusetts to a successful but not extremely wealthy family. After being schooled at the Amherst Academy for seven years in her youth, she spent a short time at Mount Holyoke Female Seminary before retiring to her family's house, the Homestead. Throughout her life she was quite reclusive and was mostly found in her room. She became known for being eccentric and her white clothing. In her adult life she rarely traveled outside of Amherst or very far from home.

Dickinson was troubled from a young age by the "deepening menace" of death, especially the deaths of those who were close to her. When Sophia Holland, her second cousin and a close friend, grew ill from typhus and died in April 1844, Emily was traumatized. During her life Dickinson lost many of the people that were close to her. This affected her greatly, so much so that most of her poems dealt with themes of death and immortality, two subjects which infused her letters to friends.

Emily was never married and had only a few intimate relationships that were made known to the public. She never had any children, but was very close to the many friends she conversed with in letters. Although she continued to write in her last years, Dickinson stopped editing and organizing her poems. Emily Dickinson died at the age of 55, on May 15, 1886, but her poems still live on today.

Many people may wonder how if you say nothing, you can say the most. Although to me the point is quite obvious. The deepest feelings don’t require words. For example, when you say I love you it really doesn’t mean that much, but your actions describe your true feelings. A hug or a kiss can say much more, than just simple words alone. That is why this quote means a lot to me. The song “When you say nothing at all” by Keith Whitley and also by Allison Krauss matches the point of the quote perfectly. The song says, “The smile on your face lets me know that you need me. There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me. A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall. You say it best when you say nothing at all”. I think people could exist perfectly fine without speech. Actually the world might be a better place, at least you wouldn’t have to worry about people lying or talking about you behind your back.

In my opinion facial expressions can say the same things as words. They can show emotions like happiness, sadness, or even anger. They can even show love. If you truly mean something you don’t need words to say it. People can just tell if the emotion is that strong. Sometimes saying nothing can be better than saying anything. When someone is mad at you and you are in an argument, anything you say could make the person madder, so the best choice would be to say nothing at all. I do agree that sometimes saying nothing is the wrong choice too, but that’s only on certain occasions. I prefer saying nothing than talking all the time. I will say that sometimes silence can be awkward, but so can a conversation. Emily Dickinson wasn’t a very outgoing person maybe that was why she preferred silence, but for whatever reason I agree. In closing, remember that saying nothing can sometimes say more than a thousand spoken words.

"Saying Nothing, Sometimes Says the Most"

7 Days

Ok so I know I have been totally lacking in the post on blog section of my life. I'm sorry and I have no excusses. So the title of this blog was rather interesting for those of you who have watched the ring. SO there is seven days left of my school year. I know amazing right? Anyway I was trying to think of what the title of my post today should be. ANd I was like seven days works, then I was like OMG thats off the ring. Then I was like that's really creepy and I;m going to mention that fact at school tomorrow.

So my life that I haven;t been posting about has been going pretty well actually. My grandma that lives in michigan has finally arrived and she is staying for a month or over. My mother is in germany qith my step-dad and I'm stuck here. Oh well I actually had fun the last three days. Because my grandma is awesome and we've been doing lots of cool stuff. Thursday we went to see the musical My Fair Lady and it was really cool. It was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Then Friday we went to see Maid of Honor which was a really good movie.Then we ate at Joe's CrabShack my second fav restaraunt. But we got up to late to go shopping so we had to wait a day. So Saturday we got up and went to Ihop for breakfast then we went to the movies and saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall which was way better than I thought. It was a really cool movie. We shopped the rest of the day and I got an extremely cool purse with a matching wallet. Two necklaces, a ring, and a shirt that says OMG WTF. It's way cool.

Since I was going on and on about my past three days I didn't tell you about the past week. Well for starters the whole family (me,mom,jeff,jess,john,andjustin) went to see Iron Man on Friday of last week, it was really good too. Then saturday I had a stupid parade for band, then our concert sunday. Tuesday was the FFA Banquet, in which me, TAD, and two of our other friends performed the YMCA as the Village people. I was the Indian and TAD was the cop. We were the best skit. Wednesday I had to present my quote project , as you know I love quotes, I just had to stand there and say my quote and who wrote it then a sentence about what it meant to me. I still started to shake. (I'm exrememly terrified of public speaking.)My quote was awesome and I'm going to post my essay in my next blog.

Some people make my friends and I so mad. There was this one girl whose quote was a classic and she turned the meaning into something so stupid. It made my friend Kayla really mad . I mean she was fuming. I expect people to not get the meaning of something important so it didn't bother me as much.

So only a week and two days left of school doesn't seem possible. I'm a little sad that it's almost over because I have a feeling next year isn't going to be as easy. I'm not going to have a free hour to be library aid. Or history class where we do nothing. I'm going to miss the guys I talk to because I won't see them all summer. But I am happy that I'll be a sophomore and be free to leave campus without getting into trouble. I guess you have to take the good with the bad. But that's just how life is. Except usually more bad than good. In my opinion anyway.

“The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create.”

“A pessimist is one who feels bad when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better.”

“Expect the best, prepare for the worst and don't be surprised when you get what you deserve.”

“Laughing out of fear of the future - that shock of realizing they've got to make a go of it.”